You deserved to be loved in a way that is pure, honest and kind. You deserve to know that you are loved, and to never question it. You deserve to go to sleep each night with a calm mind and a secure attachment. Some forms of love can morph themselves into toxic, codependent, unhealthy attachment. However, love can be unconditional and true.
Throughout our younger years, we can tend to fall into patterns and behaviours that do not serve our highest good. We let others take advantage of our kindness and willingness. This can lead to uncomfortable and painful emotions. We may let other's actions bring us down, and we take behaviours as feedback that we are worth very little. I truly believe we are all capable of giving and receiving love, although some of us may have to do the inner work to improve our opportunities. The strongest, most powerful love we can ever embody comes from no partner or parent, but instead, within ourselves. Self-love is infinite, and no one can ever take it away from us without our permission.
To fall in love is arguably one of the biggest goals of many. As a little girl, I dreamt of my wedding day and meeting my prince charming. I romanticised the fairytale of my life, and to an extent, I still encompass those feelings. However, with time, I have learned that love can be an illusion. True love is out there, but it takes work and time. Love is many things, but it is also not many things. Love shouldn't hurt, physically or emotionally. Love is not conditional, not pure love anyway. Love should not be confusing or difficult (for the most part). And finally, love is not what you say, it is what you do. People will show you how they feel about you in how they show up, not how they praise you. Words can be beautiful of course, but without action, they are empty. A man can tell you he loves you, but if he cannot show you then perhaps, he is not the one for you.
People will come into your lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. That quote provided me with a huge amount of relief in the past few years. As humans, we often dwell on the past, hold onto old flames, and wonder what could have been. Instead, we must aim to focus on the present moment before it floats away from us. Relationships are never perfect, and sometimes (often when we are younger), they end. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. When we choose to attatch to another human and form an emotional connection, we must be ready to accept the uncomfortable emotions that may arise if it ends. This is not to say we must live in a negative headspace, but we must be mindful and work on our self-love as well. We often become consumed with another when we form romantic connection, but we must be careful, because if we fall too deep, it can be hard to get up.
To conclude, you deserve to feel special, to feel loved, and to feel appreciated. If someone is not making you feel this way and you cannot improve the situation with communications, then perhaps you are better off alone for now. We must view love in an abundant mindset, there is so much love out there for us to experience, both external and internal. If we do not love ourselves, it is hard to love fully in our relationships. Never settle for what you know you don't deserve. On the other hand, go easy on yourself, and never feel mad for past decisions. You only know what you know, and sometimes we are handed the same lesson over and over until we are ready to learn it.
Bamby
xx
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