please enjoy this week's bonus post <3
In this life, we are all attempting to play the role of the person that we wish to be. Whether it be the role of high profile star AFL player, world champion basketballer, or in my case, a practicing clinical psychologist. Regardless of your goals and aspirations, we are all chasing the same feeling of fulfillment. We can find fulfillment in helping others, through starting a family, or even simply by showing up to work every day. However, I would argue, and I am starting to learn that fulfillment is already present within us. Outside sources of fulfillment can take many alternate forms. External validation, self-indulgence, social media success, workplace advancements, etc. All of these events can bring us a feeling of satisfaction but ultimately, they are all fleeting. I am starting to discover that fulfillment and happiness is found not outside the self. I am a big fan of podcasts and streaming services. I am always learning new ideas and thoughts from other humans. I try my best in my life to fight the urge to feel like I know everything. I am constantly fighting my ego telling me I know it all. Each day I am learning about myself and the world, and I am grateful to be able to share my findings with others in the hope that I can do the same for others.
Today I want to talk about being the writer of your own story. As children, we are told we can do anything, and that we have endless potential. We are fed the belief that everything will always work out, and we will always be OK. I have no problem with these beliefs in principle, however, I have found that none of these concepts matter in the grand scheme of life. To unpack that, let me first tell you how I feel about the concept of self. As living human beings, we are made up of microscopic cells and measurable intelligence. We have the ability to make rational decisions and we are able to practice morality. There are many scientific factors that make us uniquely human. However, what I have been pondering as of late is the concept of whether or not we exist, and what that really means. I have two hands and two legs. I can see that I have two hands and two legs, but my question is; do those body parts mean that I exist? If I were to lose my arms and legs in an accident would I then exist less? If our body does not constitute existence, then perhaps its our consciousness. But then, I wonder, can I see my consciousness? Can I hold it in my hand? Not really, so it cannot be that. I am still working on a conclusion for my hypothesis, not that I will be able to find a concrete answer, but I thought this topic would be a fitting preamble for today’s topic.
I define myself by many things. I am a twenty-year-old girl, I am a sister, I am a daughter, a great-niece. I am lots of things. I also have lots of things that I wish to be. I wish to become a psychologist, a mother, a wife. But what I wonder sometimes, is will these labels provide me with the happiness I yearn for? What will be the difference between me now and when I am a mother? Will it be the child I bear, or the new experiences I will be blessed with? I am not too sure, but I am told it will make me happy. I have many goals and aspirations in my life. I am constantly working towards these goals. The reason I stay committed to them is due to the promise of fulfilment that I trust in. I trust that if I move my body at the gym each day I will feel good tomorrow. When I successful complete my assignments on time, I trust that I am one step closer to my career dreams. Yet, some goals I seem to never even seem to consider inevitable with action. And that is because some of these dreams are simply out of my control. I have no real control over when I will meet my future husband or when I find my dream home. Of course, there are ways I can influence the likelihood of them occurring, I have not got total control. tbc..
Bamby x
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