They say that it is better to bruise a heart with the truth than to break it with a lie. As humans, we inherently will face immense heartbreak in our lives at least once. Whether it be during our first breakup, or through our troubled parental relationships. It is an imperative part of life to experience negative emotions. Where there is ups there must be downs. In order to experience the absolute highs of life, we must be equipped to make it through the troubled times. Even when there is no perceived light at the end of the tunnel.
Today I want to talk on the topic of romantic love. I am a self-proclaimed romantic at heart. I love everything about love. I too have experienced pure love and I believe it is an imperative and wonderful part of the human experience. And although I have experienced unconditional love in my life, I have also experienced the latter. Much like us all, I have made it through my fair share of heartbreak. And although it sucked at the time, I wouldn’t change a thing. I have had the privilege and opportunity to grow and flourish from it all. The premise for today is that your heart knows things that your mind can't explain. Initially you may be asking, what on earth do I mean by this? Well, I have read many books and heard many stories from people I love about what it feels like to be lied to, cheated on, blindsided, and let down, you name it. But, to put it plainly, humans are not perfect. We are all bound to make poor decisions that we are hopefully able to learn from; myself included. Our ability to make mistakes and learn from them through experience is part of what makes us human.
The trouble occurs when someone makes a poor decision and decides not to own it and ignores the consequences of the given situation. This happens very frequently, particularly in romantic relationships. Someone may do something that crosses their partners boundary, or may lie to please their partner to 'keep the peace'. However, although we may not always be honest with our words, our hearts are wiser and more intuitive than one may assume. When someone lies to us, although there are cases where we may be tricked into belief, we are often able to tell a lie in other ways. Whether it be through body language, our partners actions towards us, or even something as simple as a gut feeling ('gut feelings' and the science behind them are something I will unpack in a future post). The truth often comes out eventually.
Hurting someone we love without them knowing hurts enough. Having to own our mistake and tell them can often be even more excruciating. ‘What they don’t know won’t hurt them’ is thrown around all too often. I cannot sit here and say I have never lied to a partner, or at minimum been somewhat dishonest, and on the same hand, the same has been done to me. Let me tell you, it does not feel good either way, and although it can be painful in the short term, telling the truth to someone you love is the only way to have an honest and healthy relationship.
When we are deceived by a partner, we can often tell without them even admitting it. Our gut tells us what we aren’t being told. We often go to close friends to vent and beg for answers that we already have. Your mind is powerful and intuitive. Often it will guide you in the right direction. From there it is your choice whether or not to follow it. Inherently we have all the answers we need inside of us; although sometimes we need guidance and encouragement to trust them. It is highly fashionable in society today to be ‘delusional’ in our perception of how others, in particular a possible love interest is acting towards us. But at the end of the day, we often know the truth and it is not often too complicated (especially when it comes to a man's behaviour). But that does not mean that it doesn't hurt, and pain is uncomfortable.
Living with honestly and love is the key to finding and maintaining true loving connections. Cheating, lying and dishonesty are all at the root of suffering. I believe that we have a certain level of control over the degree of suffering we inflict upon ourselves, particularly when it comes to love.
To finish; you are worthy of love, and the right person will not make you feel that you are being crazy for your gut feelings. They will reassure you with the truth, and the truth will always set you free.
Thank you for reading, next week I will be writing more on the topic of love,
I look forward to when we meet again,
Bamby xx
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